July 10, 2007

Road Race Proof
Originally uploaded by Jamilary

Um, today's my MS anniversary.

I knew there was something weird going on this morning, but not until I stepped foot into my office did I realize what was up. I had to take my car back to the dealership this morning. When they serviced my car yesterday, they forgot to reattach the mudflap correctly. On my way there, someone almost hit the hell out of me. Note to all the careless drivers: when making a left turn, it is just as important to look, ahem, left as it is to look right. I was really thinking that I needed to just go home and start the day over again. Once I finally got to the psych department and began thinking about everything that I needed to get done today, it dawned on me. Today is July 10th.

On July 9, 2007, I returned to VT after running in my 3rd Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta. Yes, I'm always trying to find an excuse to go home (e.g., Thanksgiving, my birthday, Flag Day, Groundhog's Day...), but the 4th of July has been really special to me, especially in the last few years. Tens of thousands of people sweat it out down 6.2 miles of Atlanta's most major trafficways, all for a t-shirt and the glory of saying that they finished the Peachtree Road Race. Well, I've never actually worn any of the t-shirts I've gotten over the course of the races I've ran. My satisfaction has come from setting and completing a physical goal for myself. I've been good about setting goals at the workplace and at school, but physical goals...not so much. So, in returning to VT that day last year, I felt so accomplished and proud of myself.

Well, the day after I returned to VT, I had a doctor's appointment. I was going to receive the results of my MRI and tests that I did with a neurologist. After finishing the race a few days prior, I noticed that it was the first day that I had been symptom-free. No tingling, no hotspots, no out-of-the-ordinary fatigue. I mean, other than a little vision problem, I felt great! So, imagine my surprise when I, at my healthiest, was told, "your test results and MRI are consistent with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis." I wanted to sucker punch the doc. Obviously, he had no clue. I was healthy. All the previous symptoms experienced were a fluke. They went away, and they were going to stay away. Well, I like to think that I'm a pretty rational person, so all my aggressive/angry thoughts were quickly overtaken by (another) natural response, which was a flood of tears. Underneath it all, I kind of suspected it. I mean, I had spent hours on webmd.com, entering my symptoms in order to see a list of the possibilities. Hearing it confirmed by a specialist, though, was a bitter pill to swallow. I sat in that funk for several weeks afterwards. Even though I was in the middle of the 6 months when it's actually warm in VT, I sat on my sofa, just not in the mood to continue running.

Fastforwarding a year later, to today, I realize how far I've come. Now, I (can sometimes) find humor in going to the doctor's office now. I oftentimes sit amongst many grayhaired individuals who look at me wondering, "What in the hell are you doing here?" Now, I can give myself a shot everyday. In my latest trip to Atlanta, I actually gave myself a shot (discretely) while sitting at an airport terminal. I used to feel like I had to excuse myself to the bathroom out of embarassment. It is what it is. No one feels awkward about popping a pill in front of other people. Now, I'm at a point where I can say, "I have MS," without breaking down into tears. And, as a way to really identify myself as healthy, I ran in another Peachtree Road Race this year. It was my 4th and fastest one, yet! I finished in an hour, which is breathtakingly fast for me. (Want to see pictures? Go to marathonfoto.com. Select Race: "Peachtree Road Race 2008"
Last Name: Thomas
Bib Number: 92944)

So, in short, I have MS. I've had the diagnosis for a year. But I look and feel better than ever. (Um, don't take the pics from the Road Race as your evidence.)

Today, I'm donating 25% of proceeds from the sale of my MS Awareness bracelet to the National MS Society